When’s the last time you genuinely complimented someone? I don’t mean complimenting someone’s cute outfit or new haircut, I mean complimenting someone’s actions or character traits.  When’s the last time you told your mother that you appreciated her work ethic, or told your co-worker that you admire their unfailing integrity, or even thanked a friend for being with you through the hard times?

Sometimes it’s hard to give genuine compliments, but they are SO important!

Think of the last time that someone pointed out something good about your character. How did it make you feel? For me, receiving this kind of compliment is the BEST gift!  It shows that the people around me care about me and really know me.  It increases the trust I have in my relationships and makes me want to compliment others right back.  When we can consistently point out the strengths in others, we can build their self-esteem in the areas where it counts rather than just talking about the superficial things that don’t really matter. If we can uplift each other in this way, the world will be a much better place.

Compliments are also SUPER important in romantic relationships.  According to relationship researcher John Gottman, the magic ratio is 5:1. As long as there are five times as many positive interactions between partners as there are negative, the relationship is likely to be stable.  Complimenting your partner is a SUPER positive interaction and can help build a happy foundation.  That way, when hard topics come up or you disagree about something, you will have a solid foundation to build upon.  Find new things to compliment your partner on and do it often!

Complimenting is easy, but we forget to do it most of the time. I challenge you today to pick a friend, neighbor, family member, partner, acquaintance, co-worker, who-ever and give them a sincere compliment.  Do it right now after you stop reading this article!  Text them, message them, Snapchat them, call them, write them a letter, an email, tag them in a post, send them a telegraph, I don’t care! Just give a compliment today! Right now!

Christ commanded us to let our light so shine before the world.  Let yours shine by lighting up the lives of those around you and complimenting the things that really matter.


Hi! My name is Shelby. I’m a college student studying Family Studies. I love swimming, watching movies, speaking Spanish, eating Indian food, and teaching people how to have healthy relationships 🙂 Don’t just take my word on what I write, try living it!

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