Why we love, why we cheat 

TEDTalks: Anthropologist Helen Fisher takes on a tricky topic – love – and explains its evolution, its biochemical foundations and its social importance. 23.23

Your Brain in Lust & Love 

Scientific American traces the flow of chemicals in the brain. 4.40

The Science of Love 

Why do humans fall in love? Live Noggin explores the science of sexual attraction. 2.49

The post The Brain and Sexual Attraction appeared first on Voices for Virtue.

I’m 16 and have been looking at porn for 2 years. I want to quit but I can’t. Please help me!

Anonymous

We are not mental health professionals and do not provide mental health services like counseling. If you think you need mental health services please talk to your school counselor, church leader, or some other trusted adult.

We encourage you to review this page and consider some of the resources.

If you are under the age of 21 check out this resource. It’s free and provides a lot of ideas:

Fight the New Drug- Fortify

Here is another list of resources:

Resources collected by PornHarms

Here is Voices For Virtue resources:

Our Voices For Virtue Facebook Page.

Here are some more resources for strengthening virtue and avoiding porn:

BOOKS/RESOURCES especially for users/addicts

Addiction Recovery Program: A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing
A 78 page self-help workbook. Based on LDS Family Services’ 12-Step program by LDS Family Services.

CombatingPornography.Com – Help For Individuals.
Official site of the LDS Church. Has a variety of helpful resources.

Clean Hands, Pure Heart: Overcoming Addiction to Pornography Through the Redeeming Power of Jesus Christ
The book explains how the Twelve Steps help a person connect with the power of Jesus Christ to lift him or her out of this devastating form of slavery. It offers hope to those who are struggling and those who love them. By Heart-t-Heart.

The Drug of the New Millennium – The Brain Science Behind Internet Pornography Use
The brain science behind Internet pornography use. Provides parents, spouses, clergy and counselors with the 3 Power Principles guaranteed to protect children, marriages and families against pornographic addiction. 228 pages.

Brain Lock

Presents a simple four-step method for overcoming OCD. Proven by brain-imaging tests to actually alter the brain. Patients use cognitive self-therapy and behavior modification to develop new patterns of response to their obsessions.

Out Of The Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction
Patrick Carnes outlines how to identify a sexual addict, recognize the way others may unwittingly become codependent, and change the patterns that support the addiction.

ACCOUNTABILITY SOFTWARE

Covenant Eyes

XXX Church

SUPPORT GROUPS

There are support groups for those with addiction, including pornography addiction sponsored by the LDS Church. For general information check here: Addiction Recovery Programs. They also have a self-help manual check here: A Guide To Addiction Recovery and Healing. To find a support group near you check here: Support Groups. They have support groups for both the addict and the family member. The program is FREE and follows a traditional 12-Step Recovery program.

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) Meetings. A national 12 step program for sexual addicts and sexual offenders. Mostly males in attendance. National: (615) 331-6230

Sexual Addicts Anonymous (SAA) Meetings.  A national 12 step program for sexual addicts and some sexual offenders. Scattered meetings have female attendance. National: (713) 869-4902.

Candeo Healthy Sexuality.  The Candeo Healthy Sexuality program is a professional and science-based program designed to help individuals overcome the most common unwanted sexual behaviors. Provided online. There is a cost.

The post I’m 16 and have a porn problem, HELP!!! appeared first on Voices for Virtue.

Swear I should be locked up for stupid (stuff) that I did

But I’m a champion, so I turned tragedy to triumph

Kanye West -Through the Wire (edited for readers)

These lyrics hit home as I think about my progression through life. What is life about honestly?  It’s about learning from your past and making your future that much brighter.  So many lessons have been learned. But I’m still learning.  The biggest/hardest lesson I’ve had to learn is when to let go.  When to let go of guilt, when to let go of grudges and when to let go of people who you think love you but only hold you back in your eternal progression.

FROM TOOL TO TRIUMPH

Let’s be clear.  I was a tool, a giant tool.  Not the type of tool that knocks doors in the summer and posts pictures of working out and trucks.  But the type of tool that was clueless about anything remotely important to life.  The type of tool who’s top priority was whether or not a poker tournament was going to happen that night, and whether or not I had at least 5 girls “on-my-ling” texting me back.

At least your typical “tool” had money in the bank and something to show for his Tool-dom. I was more or less broke, taking random classes, floating through life without much meaning or direction. The only direction I sought was the directions to the next weekend’s dance party. Instead of spending time studying for the classes my family’s money was being spent on, I was writing rap verses making random YouTube slide shows of myself and the worst part about it, was that I enjoyed it.

James, why are you saying all these terrible things about yourself? Why? … Because my hope is that someone out there can relate. Someone who has found themselves complacent with the small walls they’ve built around themselves. The truth is, on the other side of those walls is a giant Buffet of life that we are all free to take part in. This Buffet has can bring lifelong meaning not only to yourself, but to others as

My heart goes out to all the males that feel stuck.

Drawing closer to God will only improve your life. I promise. It’s never too late to improve; temporally or spiritually.

To read more visit James’s blog page here: jamesthemormon.com

The post Live And Learn appeared first on Voices for Virtue.

My Story

Yes, I was a typical teenage girl. Loved being around my friend (maybe a little too much), listening to music (I felt like the lyrics had the answers to all my “problems”.)  I was extremely self-conscience, never felt thin enough or tall enough. Looking back at pictures, who knows why I thought that I just always saw myself differently than others saw me and it was always in a negative way. I was beyond boy crazy but hey, what teenager isn’t at that age.  My age at the time was 14 I came from a very religious family and went to church every Sunday.  I had answers to all the questions in Sunday school and had a testimony that God lives and loved me.  So then what would you say went wrong?? If I could describe it to you it would be something like the sun setting in the horizon.  The light was there but slowly started to disappear.  When I turned 13 and went from elementary to Jr. High my friends started to change and started to experiment with negative things.  The good up beat music I used to listen to became Music filled with vulgar lyrics, my friends and I would make fun of the lyrics but the beats were so catchy that they would consume my thoughts.  The social media started to make me believe being immoral was normal and acceptable.  Shows like “The real world” on MTV would put groups of women and men together that were complete strangers in the same house and show immoral scenes that looked appealing and fun.  I can remember being around a bunch of guys at a super bowl party when at half time (The only part of the super bowl I watched other than the commercials) When the unpredicted scene happened with Justin Timberlake, my N’Sync crush and Madonna.  I remember feeling horrified and embarrassed but the boys I considered my “friends” thought it was hilarious and talked about it the rest of the night.

Because of my low self-esteem I sought for that attention and approval.

I had my first boyfriend before the age of 16 (looking back this was one of many mistakes) Instead of clinging to the gospel which once was my happiness my boyfriend became my source for “happiness.” We were young and I loved feeling loved. Kissing was the “The THING to do” when you start experimenting with things at a young age the small things get boring fast and you feel the urge to try newer things.  The bright sunrise I had once known was now starting to fade quickly…. I would go to churchon Sunday but no longer answered questions just sat mesmerized by my phone and the boy I thought I “loved” on the other end of it. That boy soon broke up with me for another girl.  My self Esteem was shot to the ground! I felt worthless and ignored the lessons in church when they would tell me “your worth is great in the site of God.”

My best friend and I would play this game where we would text random numbers stupid things and see how many people would respond back.(brilliant, I know…)  The things we would say turned into inappropriate things one kid messaged me back something really flattering and because of my vulnerable state I clung to it… I wanted more.  Oh boy was he a real sweet talker and I needed that attention like I needed air to breathe.  We texted back and forth all day long and that day turned into a month of texting each other he told me he was cousins with a kid I knew so I felt more comfortable talking with him even if he was 17 me being only 14 at the time.  We would exchange pictures back and forth and he would tell me how beautiful I was.  What once was sweet talking turned to more inappropriate texting.  It bothered me at first but I went along with it because I sought after his approval.  He wanted to sneak out and meet up multiple times but I would always get too nervous until one night I got the courage (I know what you all are thinking… Are you CRAZY he could be some old creepy guy… To be honest, the scary thing is this thought NEVER crossed my young 14 year old mind…I heard stories about Elizabeth Smart getting abducted but still never thought things like that could happen to me.)

The night I decided to sneak out my family was all watching a movie down stairs I had told them I was too tired and would just sleep down there. I had planned it all out my hair was curled, I got a cute outfit that I would change into, I knew the window I would sneak out of and gave the boy my address….He was on his way when a feeling came over me. It hit me harder than I have ever felt it before… I knew who it was it was my companion … my true friend that promised to stay with me and warn me of danger.. The Holy Ghost was definitely trying to warn me. I ignored him. I didn’t want to look stupid for having this boy drive all that way for nothing.  I proceeded to climb out the window and walk towards the front of the house.  This time the feeling hit my WHOLE body a “VOICE” yelled at me to STOP. I stopped because it was so loud I didn’t think it was only inside my head.  I ignored my true friend again… and walked slowly to the car… I ignored him and he was gone.  The 17 year old boy in the car seemed nice and my worries disappeared until…

Bad things happened.

Afterwards, I sat in my basement and the light I once knew was now total darkness. I felt alone. If I had been that “type” of girl none of this would have ever happened. I didn’t let the darkness consume me instead after a little bit of time, my “friend” came back to me and I sought for help and strived to be that virtuous girl I once was.  It wasn’t easy I felt disgusting like I didn’t deserve to get help.  I pushed away those thoughts from the adversary and sought after true repentance. The opposite happened the sunset had turned into darkness but now I could see the sunrise and it was more beautiful than ever.

The savior said, “I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you” John14:18. He came to me and I know he will come to you.

I know VOICES for virtue has the power to help youth all over the world and by being a VOICE and sharing OUR STORY or even being a VOICE for virtue amongst our friends we can help those that are in the uttermost darkness see the sunrise and seek for help.  We need the strength of the youth uniting together to live more virtuously in a world that is not. Let’s make a difference even if it is only to one girl or boy.

Anonymous

#virtuestrong

The post I Heard A Voice Yelling At Me To “Stop!” appeared first on Voices for Virtue.

Educate and Empower Kids is a running a video scholarship contest that will only be going until mid-December.

Win a $1000 scholarship for making a 2 minute video!

The Empower Challenge is offering students ages 13 through college the opportunity to earn cash for school by using creativity in the video making process. Some of the themes include: Sex talks gone wrong – How have parents or teachers screwed up the sex talks? How media images affect kids’ daily lives – Does media affect kids negatively, positively, both? What are some examples? The negative consequences of porn – This could be biographical, what you’ve observed in society at large or in the relationships around you ​. ​

Several of these themes pertain to our Voices for Virtue. We are so excited about spreading awareness.

The deadline for submission is December 15!

Voices for Virtue is proud to support this worthy cause! Please share!

Empower Challenge

The post Win a $1000 Scholarship – Educate and Empower Kids appeared first on Voices for Virtue.